101) Our new daughter-in-law

Before Siân had met us, Jonathan had told her that there had always been a debate in our house on who had spoilt Muffin the most and turned her into the daft dog that she was. Jonny continued to blame me but I knew that it was all his fault. When they decided to come and visit us, Jonathan told her that she could now be the judge, she would give an ‘impartial decision’ and settle once and for all whose fault it was. After Siân had been with us for a week or two Jonathan said “Well now Siân, you have been with us long enough, you have seen how things are in this family and so we want your opinion, who spoils Muffin?” Poor Siân, it was not nice to put her on the spot like that but she handled it beautifully. She looked from one to the other and said, “I don’t know about spoiling, but you really do treat her as one of the family don’t you?” What a clever girl, she obviously did not want to tell the truth and get into her future father-in-laws bad books. This was the start of a great relationship, right from the start we loved Siân and she is more like a daughter than a daughter-in-law to us.

It was interesting to hear Siân’s impressions of South Africa; a stranger’s opinion is often very enlightening. I don’t remember what she thought of most of the country but I do remember that she told me that when they had gone down to Cape Town for a few days and stayed in hotels along the way one thing had struck her as odd. In every hotel at breakfast Jonathan was always given two fried eggs and she was only given one. She was amazed at the chauvinistic assumption that men ate two eggs and women ate one. She said that no one would get away with that in Australia. Being a good Aussie girl she had to try and teach the South African hotels a thing or two, she would always ask for a second fried egg. Not that she really wanted one, but she did not like the assumption that she was only entitled to one. We had a good laugh over this and although I had not noticed it before I had to admit that she was right.

We learnt then what a great cook Siân is. We had been talking about a meal that we had had some time previously and mentioned ‘crumbed mushrooms’. We were saying how much we had enjoyed them but I did not think I would try to make them, as I was sure that I would not be able to get the crumbs to stick to the mushrooms. Siân offered to make us some and they were great, even better than the ones we had had before. She cooked a few other things for us but it was the crumbed mushrooms that stuck in my mind. Siân told us that she really wanted to be a chief, and was keen to take up an apprenticeship when she got back to Australia. Her parents had wanted her to go to university so she had done one year of English Literature but had not completed the course. Instead she had gone to England with one of her friends and they had been working and travelling together when she met Jonathan. She told me that her parents were both from South Wales. I think one was from Merthyr Tydfil and the other from Ebbw Vale, I think it was her mother who was from Ebbw Vale, but I am not sure of that. Both her parents, who were teachers, had gone to university in Germany and that it was where they had met. Strange that, after living in almost adjoining villages and then to meet in Germany. Siân’s dad, Peter Kenvyn had done a teachers training course in Swansea and as I had lived opposite the teachers training collage in Swansea we wondered if her dad and I had walked passed each other in the street about 25 years before. Peter and his wife Judy had emigrated to Australia when they were newly weds and both Siân and her older brother Christopher had been born in Australia. Not long after Siân was born her grandmother Ivy Weale had come to live with them and so the Welsh connection was strengthened. Although the whole family regarded themselves as proper Australians there was a strong link with Wales and all things Welsh.

We had a good time all together for Christmas. We even got a visit from David Arnold during the holiday period. I am not sure where I put everyone but I suppose we found place for them.

Christmas 1990

After Christmas Jonathan and Siân went with Dominic to visit Zimbabwe. Siân had never been there and Jonathan wanted to show her the country he called home. They all seemed to have had a lovely time there. I know that they took some wonderful photos of Victoria Falls, Kariba and Great Zimbabwe.

Jonathan and Siân at The Great Zimbabwe ruins

When all the young people had gone we took my Mom around and about a bit, as she had not seen any of that part of South Africa before. One place I remember impressed her greatly was Durban docks. She was very interested in the ships and the general lay out of the whole place. She kept saying “I have never seen such lovely clean docks” She was impressed by stainless steel railings, newly painted cranes, and well maintained buildings and said quite a few times over “I have never seen such lovely clean docks”. Feeling a little proud of our hometown Jonny asked, “How many docks have you been to Mom?” She thought about this for a moment or two and said “I’ve only ever been to Swansea Docks and that was at least thirty years ago” so it turned out that Durban was the best out of two. Mom was not impressed with Durban city though. She thought it was a very muddled up mixture of all sorts of styles of architecture and looked a mess. I would have thought that most big cities were like that but Mom thought that Durban was worst than the others she had seen.

There were other things she enjoyed though. She liked the Lavron Bird Gardens but was not so keen on the snake park. She was interested in visiting the Durban Esplanade and seeing all the craft work that had been made by the local people and was for sale there.

I don’t think it was during her first visit to Durban but on one of Mom’s visits we took her to see the replica of the ‘Endeavour’ that was visiting South African at the time. She enjoyed that but we all felt very sorry for the sailors, as it must have been very cramped for them. In quite a few places Mom had to duck her head as the ceiling was so low. As Mom is very short, we wondered how average men would have managed in there. Cook’s voyage in the Endeavour had lasted just a few weeks short of three years; it is hard to imagine how cramped and uncomfortable those men would have been.

Going Sightseeing with my Mom